


Thorns Sleep in Beds of Roses

by Nocturnal_Introvert



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Baby Steven, Canonical Character Death, Complicated Relationships, Death, Depression, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Roller Coaster, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Multi, Past Pearl/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Post-Death in the Family, Shapeshifting, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, death mention, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 14:57:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4881169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocturnal_Introvert/pseuds/Nocturnal_Introvert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A week after Steven's birth, tensions are high between the Crystal Gems and Greg. Without Rose, everyone she's left behind has a hard time coping with her loss...but especially Pearl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thorns Sleep in Beds of Roses

**Author's Note:**

> TW for attempted rape, possible abuse, and death mentions

Although it had only been about a week since Steven was born, it felt like light-years. To Pearl, it didn't matter that light-years measured distance and not time, it felt like light-years. Because the time wasn't even necessarily what mattered to her. Time didn't matter anymore. All time without Rose was time that in Pearl's mind was poorly spent. It was the distance that mattered now. The seemingly impossible distance between them. The fact that really, distance wasn't an issue, because Rose had no physical form. That was what hurt the most. Even just a moment away from Rose felt like an eon. And now, her Rose was gone forever and Pearl was here, on earth, caring for some sort of mixture of the one she loved and the one who had taken her away.

Pearl had been the one to mostly care for the baby at first. Of course, she had no idea what to do, but Amethyst and Greg's friend Vidalia helped when she could. Vidalia, who was taking care of a kid of her own, on her own, a child old enough to go to school but not quite old enough to get by without her. But she tried her hardest. She was obviously exhausted, however, and needed just about as much rest as Baby Steven. Amethyst and Garnet, while they helped care for the baby whenever Pearl really needed a break, mostly focused on comforting Greg. Of course, Pearl had no interest in doing so. At this point, Greg could hardly bare to look at the baby. It hurt him too much to see the physical reminder that the baby's mother and the love of his life was no longer there. Pearl wished she had that option. But no, she had to stay here in the temple, in the house-like addition they had built on when they found out the baby was coming and they'd need a real, human baby-safe space for him to live.

He looked so much like her... With his head full of curly hair and his big, starry eyes, Steven was just like a small, human Rose. Whenever he looked up at Pearl with those eyes, she felt her heart simultaneously race and break. At that point, it was getting to be too much. Pearl couldn't stand looking at Baby Rose...Steven. She couldn't stand being in the temple with him and watching him smile her smile and look up at her like he loved her. He spent most of his time sleeping, and he was a much quieter and happier baby than she remembered Vidalia's being at his age, but nonetheless it was emotionally exhausting to watch him.

"Pearl? How is Steven?" Garnet called, walking into the kitchen of the temple, where Pearl had kept the crib. Pearl jumped up upon hearing her voice, having zoned out staring at sleeping Steven. "I can't take it anymore, Garnet. You watch him!" She groaned, clutching her head.

Garnet said nothing, just nodded and walked closer to the crib, her eyes most likely looking at the baby, though from behind those glasses Pearl was never quite sure.

Pearl stood up and dusted herself off, eyes closed, not wanting to see Steven for another second. "You know, Greg isn't the only one who's hurting." She grumbled.

Garnet turned her head towards Pearl, and she could sense the disappointment in her unseen gaze. "This isn't about you, Pearl. We need to do this for Rose and for Steven."

Pearl huffed. "Yeah? Well it doesn't have to only be about Greg either! How do you think I feel, watching this thing every day! This thing...this baby is the reason Rose isn't here anymore! And so is it's selfish father! If he wanted it so badly that he wanted Rose to leave, he can take care of it!"

As if knowing what they were talking about, baby Steven woke up from his nap and let out a loud, soul-crushing wail. It was rare that he cried, but when he did it was loud and heartbreaking, and the gems never quite knew what to do.

Garnet stood up and took a single step towards Pearl, who had been startled by the cry. "Out. Now." Garnet demanded, her normally emotionless voice gaining a slight tone of anger that Pearl had only ever so rarely heard.

"Fine." Pearl muttered, sauntering out of the temple and letting the door slam shut behind her. "But don't you dare come looking for me next time that thing needs to be stared at!" She added, raising her voice to be heard beyond the front door.

Pearl made her way down the steps and towards Greg's garage, where Greg had been staying for the past week, being comforted by Garnet and Amethyst. Although the gems knew little about humans and mourning, they felt something similar to his pain and did their best to ease it, even if it meant sitting in silence, hoping he would eventually decide to wake up, and when he did, he wouldn't reach out for Rose.

"Amethyst....Greg?" Pearl called as she walked into the mess of the garage. She flinched as she saw all of the Rose-related memorabilia--pictures of her, ticket stubs from the concerts she and Greg went to, her Mr.Universe t shirt-- piled behind a box in the front of the garage, memories tucked away, too painful to be brought back now.

"What do you need, P?" Amethyst called, hidden beneath a pile of blankets that she and Greg sat in--their 'blanket fort' they called it, to watch Little Butler.

Pearl rolled her eyes as she saw Greg, his face tear-stained, sitting up beside her, seemingly asleep. "Wake him up." Pearl told her. "Steven needs him."

Amethyst sighed. "Or you just don't want to see either of them." She muttered, nudging Greg awake. "Hey, man, the kiddo needs his dad." She told him, her voice a gentle whisper that Pearl hadn't heard in a long time.

Greg sleepily mumbled before tottering to his feet, sleep and depression weighing down his limbs. He blinked in the blue-washed light of the room and smiled ever so slightly at Pearl in greeting. "I'll be right back." He told them, sloppily making his way to the garage door.

Pearl sat down beside Amethyst and let out a long, disgruntled sigh. "Why are you being so nice to him?!" She demanded, shooting an icy glare at the purple gem.

"Whoa, calm down...calm down. There's no reason to be angry at me for this!" Amethyst said, her hands raised in surrender.

Pearl scoffed. "You're enabling him. He is the reason she's gone and you're...you're making it seem like what he did was okay!"

Amethyst raised an eyebrow. "You think she didn't want this, Pearl? You know that SHE was the one begging him for a baby, right?" She shot a pointed look at the other gem. "You know that he told her he didn't want to raise a kid without her, and she was the one who told him it'd be okay. Honestly...I don't think he was ever okay with it once he knew what would happen to her." She sighed. "So before you go blaming him, realize that she can do things wrong."

Pearl's eyes widened. "No...She didn't want this! She would never leave me behind...She wanted to stay here! She loved earth....She loved..." She covered her mouth, urging tears to stay concealed within her eyes.

"She loved Greg."

Pearl shook her head, trying to make it untrue. "She loved ME, Amethyst. She loved me and she was just USING him to have a child so part of her knew what it felt like to be one of those disgusting humans she loved so much..."

Amethyst laughed cruelly. "She loved you, huh, P?" She smirked. "Where is she now, then? Why did she give up being with you?"

Pearl jumped to her feet. "Don't you dare, Amethyst!! You don't know what you're talking about! You wouldn't know what love was if...if it bit you right on your gem."

"Apparently you wouldn't either." Amethyst popped another handful of chips into her mouth and shook her head. "You know...it's kind of sad. You saw the way she looked at him, and you still thought she loved you." She stood up, and looked coldly at Pearl. "It was almost something like....."

"DON'T YOU DARE." Pearl interrupted, closing her eyes.

"It was like this, wasn't it?" Amethyst smirked.

Pearl opened one eye slightly, and gasped at what she saw, "How could you?!" She shrieked. "Why would you ever do that...?"

Amethyst flipped a single, large, light purple spring curl over her shoulder. "What? Look at you like this?" Amethyst opened hers...or, Rose's eyes wide, looking starstruck. "Oh Mr.Universe! I love you so much! Let's have a child! Let me just abandon the gems and my entire physical form so we can have a baby!"

Pearl let out a loud, angry and miserable shriek. "STOP IT NOW, AMETHYST." She begged, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"No! She would never look at you like that and you know it, P! You know she never would." Amethyst insisted. "But you know who would?"

Pearl groaned. "Amethyst, not this again...no..."

Amethyst rolled her eyes. "I would, Pearl. No matter how hung up you are on Rose, I still think the sun shines out of your freakin' gem."

Pearl opened her tear-flooded eyes and shook her head. "Amethyst...You can't make me feel that way about you...Especially not...not now."

"That doesn't mean I'll stop trying." Without changing back, and without a second of hesitation, Amethyst pressed her lips roughly against Pearl's. Despite Pearl's struggling against her, she managed to push her down onto the floor and climb on top of her. Amethyst grabbed Pearl's wrists in one hand, pinning them above her head. "If you loved her so much, then let her love you back." She muttered through gritted teeth.

Pearl looked up at Amethyst, she looked up at Amethyst but she saw Rose. She saw the one she loved. Behind the eyebrow furrowed rage of Amethyst, somehow, Pearl saw the loving, perpetual joy of Rose. She saw Rose, and she gave in. "Okay, Rose..." She breathed, sniffling. "But only because I love you."

Amethyst's rage suddenly melted away. She had stopped being her angry, upset self, and had become the person she had shifted into. She felt her heart leap. "Do you mean it, P?" She asked, letting go of her wrists.

Her eyes clouded with held back tears, Pearl nodded. "If that's what you want, Rose... I would do anything for you."

Amethyst grinned and kissed her again, sliding her tongue across Pearl's lower lip. "I love you." She murmured into the kiss. She tugged at the other gem's lip with her teeth, hearing her let out a soft moan as she did, before moving her kisses down Pearl's neck. Amethyst ground her hips against Pearl's and ran her hands down her chest, letting her nails scrape against a tiny bit of exposed skin at her midriff.

Pearl gasped and closed her eyes tightly before looking back up at Amethyst. "You really do look just like her..." She whispered.

Amethyst kissed Pearl's shoulder and grinned. "I know. The other day Greg woke up from a nightmare begging for Rose, so I decided to shift so I could comfort him. It was like he'd...it was like he'd seen a ghost." Her eyes opened wide, and suddenly, without warning, Amethyst shifted back to her normal self. Where Rose once was, now there was a very broken looking Amethyst. She held her head in her hands and backed away from Pearl. "Oh my god....." She whispered.

Pearl took a few deep breaths before sitting up and looking towards the other gem. "What?" She asked quietly.

"I'm so sorry...I wasn't thinking. I wasn't thinking and I just...I missed her so much. I didn't know what to do..."

Pearl sighed. "So you thought you should do THAT?" She screamed. "Do you realize what you're doing Amethyst?! We all miss her! We all miss her and you're...you're using that to get what you want!"

Amethyst flinched. "No...I....I was just..." She looked down at the ground. "You're right...I shouldn't do that. I shouldn't use Rose like that."

All of a sudden, the gems heard a soft thud coming from the other side of the garage. When they looked over, they saw Greg slouched down on the floor leaning against a pile of cardboard boxes.

"H-how much did you see?" Amethyst asked, blushing in shame.

"Enough..." Greg replied, his voice hoarse and breaking.

Pearl looked at her feet sheepishly. She had was emotionally exhausted. She had never meant to make herself look like this in front of Greg. She felt so weak and vulnerable, a part of herself that she had always tried to hide from Rose and the humans she had loved. She stared downward waiting, for someone to break the silence. She felt stuck, trapped in that moment. She wanted to run away and never come back. There was no place for her here on earth now that Rose wasn't here. But she knew she couldn't do it. Although it wasn't the same, she couldn't leave Garnet and Amethyst, and.. Steven. He was her only attachment to Rose. Even if Rose had abandoned her and fallen in love with Greg, Pearl knew that she never stopped loving Rose and she never would.

Greg cleared his throat and slowly stood. "Listen Pearl, I'm sorry. I've been selfish by sitting in here trying to hide from my...our problems." He stepped towards Pearl and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I know that you might blame me, but we both lost someone we love, and we both want what's best for Steven. So... let's try to work together, okay?"

Amethyst slowly retreated back into to the blanket fort, retrieving her chips on the way there. This was an exchange she knew better than to get involved in. Not only did it not involve her, but she was so ashamed by what Greg had seen she decided it would be best to avoid talking about it. Hopefully ever.

Pearl didn't look up at Greg. She didn't want him to see all the pain and fear in her eyes. He was right, she needed to be strong... for the other gems, and for Steven. She knew what she needed to do, no matter how much it hurt her. She clenched her fists and blinked the tears out of her eyes. When she spoke, she spoke softly, but with a fire that she hadn't known before. "You are right Greg. Rose gave us Steven, and now that is all that matters." She vowed in that moment to devote herself to that child, to spend every last breath protecting him, because he was all she had. She had been Rose's knight, and though it wouldn't be the same, she knew she needed to protect Steven with that same intensity, to protect the one thing left of Rose.

Greg half smiled at Pearl as she lifted her head to look around her again. He threw his arm around her shoulder, a gesture she would have preferred not to experience, but the physical contact felt comforting. "C'mon Pearl, you can watch Little Butler with me and Amethyst and relax. Garnet is taking care of Steven and I'm sure she can handle anything that comes her way. Just come take a break. You need it."

Pearl glanced between him and Amethyst, who was looking bored and eating chips as if she had already forgotten their encounter just moments ago. She sighed deeply and reluctantly agreed. It couldn't make things any worse, she supposed. "Fine. But this won't be a regular thing. I just.. want to take my mind off of things for a while." She finished quickly.

They made their way back into the blanket fort. Pearl tried her best to tiptoe around Amethyst, but Amethyst smiled an apologetic, hurting smile that made it hard for Pearl to keep too much distance. She understood somewhat how Amethyst felt, and she was trying her best to forgive her. Pearl knew that people said and did things they didn't mean when they were upset.

Greg pressed play on the TV, starting Little Butler.

Although Pearl wasn't sure she enjoyed the show, it was relieving to have something to focus on and avoid talking out problems with the others. She knew she wasn't ready for that...and they probably weren't either. For now, this was what they had,

They stayed there all night, just the three of them, Greg and Amethyst laughing at how Pearl didn't understand the human jokes in the show. For that moment they allowed themselves to forget the world around them. They just lived in that moment, happy to have each other, and Garnet, and Steven. Even if Rose wasn't with them anymore, they all agreed, she wanted them to be together, and she wanted them to be happy.


End file.
